Sissyjackie's Blog

Finally

sissyjackie — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 04:17:45 +0000

After months of a long distance relationship with Ma’am and Sir. I’ve finally moved in with them. Now if any of my friends had come to me telling me they are moving across the country. To live with someone they’d never seen in person. I would’ve told them they were making a mistake. That they should take “baby steps” insted of just making the leap. I’m very happy to say that is not the case here. While I’ve only been here a week, and though we’re going through an adjustment period. I still feel very much at home here. My feelings for Ma’am and Sir have not diminished a bit. Though I’m suprised to find I’m more focused on intimacy. Than I am with sex. I still have the same sexual desires that I did. It’s just important to me to feel connected to them both. Because so much of our sexual dynamic is new to me. In fact my new fear is that this need for actual intimacy. Will be mistaken for a lack of sexual desire on my part. Also since I haven’t been with anyone in a couple of years. I’m not used to not having cock rings on when my clitty’s all hard (that’s actually kinda embarrassing to admit.). As well as being used to watching porn before making cummies (also embarrassing to admit.). Adjustment period aside. I truly feel like I’m home. For the first time in years, and in a foreign place. I feel like I’m home. I believe we have a bright future ahead of us.

I can’t stop thinking about sex.

sissyjackie — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 19:16:09 +0000

I’m currently saving to move in with Mommy and Daddy. Mommy’s had me on a one cummie a day limit for months now. With a few times when she’s let me have more (thank you Mommy.). I’ve adjusted to it pretty well. Considering I used to have days where I’d loose count around 13 or so. I do still edge myself if I’ve already had the days cummie.

Chastity has come up in conversations for a while now. I find myself conflicted some. While I really love making cummies, and playing with my clitty. I find myself feeling very excited at the thought of my Mommy and Daddy( if Mommy wants him to.) have the key to my clitty.

As the time that I have to wait to be with them shortens. I find I’m always thinking about sex. Even when it’s not on the forefront of ny mind. It’s still their. I’ll be doing something at work. Focused, and in the moment. All the while visions of Mommy and Daddy fucking me. Run through my mind. Sometimes only Mommy. Sometimes only Daddy. Sometimes Mommy’s fucking Daddy,and I’m tied,gagged,and plugged. Mommy holding the remote to the vibe in me. It goes on all day. Every day. So many different scenarios. I honestly don’t have the patience to list them all now.

Dammit I made myself want to make cummies again.

Cycles of fixation

sissyjackie — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 19:43:10 +0000

Today I noticed something about myself. Once I find something in my exploration that I llike. I fixate on it for a bit. A good example would be my current fascination with string bikini panties. Panties really are at the core of my kinks. Every woman I know. Have only had negative things to say about how they feel about wearing this style. I got myself my first pair. To see how I felt while wearing them. They’re pink with black hearts on them. With little black bows where the front panel meets the string. The back is pink lace. They’re just soo yummy. I found I just love how they feel. So the next chance I got. I bought four more. I have many panties that I love to wear, but this week I seem to have only been wearing my string bikini’s.

I did a similar thing with pantyhose. I first wore pantyhose as a young boy. As I grew up and eventually came back to my kink. I found myself fixated with stockings. That one lasted years. In fact I still love stockings. However recently I tried pantyhose again. First with crotchless. Then later with control top full hose. Once I got used to the added restriction over my clitty. I found I thoroughly enjoy how they feel. I wore hose for about a week and a half. My stockings seem to last longer than my hose though. As far as ripping or runs.

I wonder what my next thing will be?

Pantyversery

sissyjackie — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 05:44:04 +0000

So my one year anniversary. Of wearing my panties 24/7. Is coming up in February. It feels so right to me. I actually have to remind myself it hasn’t been that long. For example right now I’m in black shear stockings,a black garterbelt, my black/ leopard print petticoat, and soft pink panties with black polkadots on them. Under my boy drag. This is basically what I sleep in. Though the panties vary

I see a lot of post’s on Fetlife where humiliation seems to be tied into the fetish. I can see how being caught could be humiliating. Or at least embarrassing. However that’s all based on the reactions of whomever catches me. The act of wearing lingerie and panties. Isn’t humiliating to me. Not any more than embracing the feminine aspects of my personality is. For me to say “crossdressing or panty wearing is humiliating”. Is like saying “Being feminine is humiliating”. witch is just untrue in my eyes. Sorry I got side tracked for a minute there.

I’m pondering what I want to do to celebrate my first year in panties. So far I’ve decided this is when I’ll get rid of my boy undies. Since I don’t wear them I keep them on a shelf in my closit. I have three drawers for lingerie in my four drawer dresser. One full of panties. One full with my garterbelts and stockings/pantyhose ect, and one with my cheaper petticoats, and a body shaper. Also some porn shop costumes. This is an amusing thought for me. As most of my coworkers,and all of my close friends. Know I wear panties and stockings daily. My boy undies are now in the closet. Instead of me

As I get other ideas I’ll add them here. Also I’ll post about the actual event once it happens. If you have any ideas? Please share them.

Things I hope to be good at.

sissyjackie — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 18:39:55 +0000

Bulding bondage furniture.
I like working with my hands,and enjoy fixing things. I really like the idea of creating something. That combined with what it’ll be used for. Just makes it very appealing.

Kung-Fu
I used to be pretty good at this. I miss it, and what practicing it did for me. To anyone who just thought “Kung-Fu… That’s not very girly.”. Well you’re just plain wrong. It’s an art, and like any art. Anyone can become great at it. Being able to exhibit Strength,and Grace at the same time.

Finding Joy and Peace in the little things.
This on I just want to be better at. To remember life is short and miraculous. Even if it does hurt sometimes.

Pleasing Mommy.
This one’s vast. For me that can simply be by giving a good hug. At just the right moment. Without being asked or told to. Bringing a smile to her face. Or making her laugh. Of course I also have my hopes for doing this in a sensual. As well as sexual ways too. Overall I want to be a part of her life. Moreover I want make things easier and better for her.

Sucking Daddy’s Cock
I’ve never touched one. Other than my own. So being a good cocksucker may take some practice.

Making money while doing something I enjoy.

Writing… On that note. To anyone who’s actually following my blog. I’m sorry my postings are so scattered. Also I apologize for my lack of regularity with them.

Today’s panties 11/15/2011.

sissyjackie — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 08:09:00 +0000

Feeling flooded with feelings. Yet a bit blocked. Sorry if this get’s a tad scattered.

Had a semi-successful day at the job. I just haven’t been able to unwind today untill now.

Today I wore a recently purchased. Lt.Pink,White,and Lt. Grey. leopard print bikini cut. Cotton panty. Yay for new panties! Black garterbelt,and sheer stockings. Under my boy drag for work.

No Cummies till Tue Nov 8th

sissyjackie — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 16:08:39 +0000

Ma’am said she wanted to work up to something. She’s been kind enough to allow me one cummie a day. For months now. I haven’t had sex in almost two years now. So going to once a day was an adjustment for me. The last cummie I made was on Friday Nov 4th. I don’t know what she has in mind, but I’m excited. Also I’ve noticed that my want to cum in the morning. Is more torturous knowing I won’t be cumming at all today. I have to think of it in “one day at a time” frame of mind.

Jackie gets caught and punished.

sissyjackie — Mon, 19 Sep 2011 21:34:00 +0000

As I stand over him. I can’t believe Sir let me do this. I look down at him. His hands tied in rope cuffs in front of him. Ankles cuffed together too. A soft blindfold so he can only hear how much I’m enjoying his mout on my clitty. I can feel my need to release grow. So I turn up the vibrating plug. That Sir let me put in him. With the remote in my hand. “Oh that’s it Sir. Keep doing it just like that. Oh fuck Ma’am’s right you’re great at this.”. I can feel myself at my favorate part. The moment right before my cummies shoot out. Just then I can hear her key in the door. That puts me over the edge. With my hand on Sir’s head. I make sure my first stream is in his mouth. I pull out and my second and third go all over his face. When I open my eyes. I can see her. The look on Ma’am’s face is a mixture of anger and desire. “Why you little bitch! Jackie corner now!”. Ma’am’s voice is stern and crisp. I do as I’m told and start thinking about what I’ve done. How I’ve been a bad girl. I know we should’ve asked her for permission before we played. Sir even tried to get to his phone so he could, but I just teased him more intensly. Until he got carried away in the moment. “You’re in trouble too mister.”. She must have undone Sir’s ankles. Because I can hear him stand. As Ma’am tells him to go to the toybox. As I stand alone facing the corner. I feel bad for getting Sir in trouble. After a few moments I hear a loud smack, and Sir’s voice whimperimg. I know he’s getting a spanking. This goes on for what feels like an eternity. Sir pleads with Ma’am. Telling her he’s sorry, that he tried to be good, that I took advantage of him. Though it was all true. It didn’t help his plight at all. Ma’am responds “Be quiet and take your spanking. I know, that’s why I’m only spanking you. You know better than to behave like this.”. I can hear her hand smack his ass at the end of each sentence. Finally the slapping sound stop’s. “Now go wash your face off. I’ve got to get a few things from the toybox. Jackie…get your slutty little ass in here!”

I don’t say anything. Just do as I’m told and go to the bedroom. “Do you have any idea how much trouble you’re in little girl?” Ma’am says as I enter the room. She points to the bed. “Put those on.”. I put the leather cuffs on my wrists and ankles. Sir comes out of the bathroom. He walks over to Ma’am, and she hugs him warmly. “Good boy, I’m glad you sent me that email. Letting me know what our little girl was up to.”. Ma’am eyes meet mine, and I feel dread in my stomach. Sir was on his computer when I started teasing him, but I thought he was working. “Bend over the bed Jackie. Your punishment is about to begin.” Again I do as I’m told. Ma’am stands on one side of me,and Sir on the other. I hear the loud smack as Ma’ams hand strikes my left butt cheek. “Baby help me spank our little slut. I think you deserve to punish her too.”. Then I hear another loud smack, and feel a stinging on my right cheek too. They take turns spanking me hard. In no time tears are welling up in my eyes. I can hear myself saying things like “I’m sorry, I couldn’t help myself, and I promise I’ll never do it again.”. Still my spanking continues. “You’re not talking your way out of this, and I know you’ll never do it again. We’re going to make sure of that.”. By the time they finally stop. Tears are streaming down my face, and my blubbering no longer resembles words. “Baby go bring me the inflatable plug.” Sir steps away from me. Ma’am softly rubs my bum. Causing it to sting and burn. She coo’es a little seing my discomfort. “Sir’s spanking was for letting you cum. You’re punishment has only started. By the time I’m done with you. You won’t want to touch your clitty for a week. Not even to go potty.”. Sir comes back over to us. “Baby be a good boy and lube up her sissy hole.”. The cool feeling of the lube is a welcomed change from my spanking. I can feel my hole relax and welcome Sir’s finger. Soon he’s working the plug inside me. Ma’am’s breathing get’s heavy and I can tell she’s enjoying the show. Sir slowly fucks me with the plug. Just for a bit. Then pushes it all the way in. “Now pull your panties up little girl.”. Ma’am has me move over and sit in a chair right next to the bed. She and Sir attach the cuffs to it. Except for my left wrist. Ma’am has a wicked grin on her face. As she squeezes the bulb to the plug. Making it grow inside me. She does this a few more times. Filling me untill I feel like I’m about to rip open from the plug.

“You naughty little girl.” Mommy’s voice sounds sweet, and her eyes tell me. This will not be over quickly, and though I will enjoy some of this. It’s going to be a tourtured enjoyment.

I hear Daddy say. “She’s just going to beg Ma’am.”. Mommy nods quicly in agreement. “
“Baby you’re right. Go get the dildo gag, from my toybox while I get ready.”. Daddy winks at me and smiles as he walks to the toybox. Mommy undresses “It’s ok babygirl. I know you want to touch yourself, and you can. In fact I want you to make cummies as many times as you can.”. I try to beg as I brush my panty covered clittly with my left hand. “Mommy I can’t makkkk”.

Daddy places the four inch gag end of the dildo gag into my mouth. “That’s enough from our naughty girl.”. Mommy lays on the bed and tells Daddy to kiss and lick her. As Mommy’s breaths shorten and get more intense. My clitty try’s to break free of the satin panties over it. I love hearing Mommy aroused and giving instructions. Daddy doesn’t need much instruction. Still I love hearing it. Finally Mommy squirts all over Daddy, and the bed. For the first time. I make cummies with my left hand. Unaware of the moaning sounds I’m making around the cock shaped gag in my mouth.

Today’s Panties 9-15-11

sissyjackie — Thu, 15 Sep 2011 18:46:00 +0000

Today I’m wearing my black and pink shear panties. From Victoria’s Secret. The Sexy Little Things line. I like these because they have a garterbelt built into them. If I just want them to be panties. I just take off the garter straps. I also like that they are the same colors as my new SissyMaids dress.

Lately I’ve been thinking about why, and how I pick out which panties I wear. It’s usually based on my mood, and if I have to work or not.

I know sometimes I just want to be comforted. Or huged. I can’t seem to figure out why wearing cirtan panties? Give’s me a feeling of warmth and safety

Jackie’s Size’s

sissyjackie — Wed, 14 Sep 2011 18:33:39 +0000

This post is for Ma’am. I find this one to be a bit humbling. It’s only because I’m out of shape now. My size and shape will change. Just as all things do. I hope I can make that change for the better.

Jackie’s Sizes

Height 6’1″

Men’s suit 44 Reg.

Dress Shirt 16.5 x 35

Standard shirt or tee xl

Pant 36 or 38 depending on the fit.

Mens shoe 12 or 45 euro.

Dress is about an 18 women’s.

Stockings xl or queen 1

Panties mostly lg ( funny because in boy underwear I usually take an xl.).

Neck Cir. at the base where it meats the Shoulder 16.25″ ( Note. I have a sensitive neck and try to leave at least a half an inch space. So I don’t gagg, spit, or vomit.)

Adams apple to Crotch 29″

Adams apple to Bellybutton 19″

Bust 46″

Chest 40″

Waist 39″ (Here waist is a few inches above the bellybutton.)

Hips 46″

Upper arm Cir. 19.5″

Armpit to Wrist 21″

Shoulder to shoulder 20.5″

Neck to Shoulder 7″

Inside of Leg 29″

Upper Thigh Cir. 29″

Mid Thigh Cir. 25″

Knee Cir. 17.5

Ankle Cir 10″

Elbow Cir. 12″

Wrist Cir. 8″

Hat 23″