After months of a long distance relationship with Ma’am and Sir. I’ve finally moved in with them. Now if any of my friends had come to me telling me they are moving across the country. To live with someone they’d never seen in person. I would’ve told them they were making a mistake. That they should take “baby steps” insted of just making the leap. I’m very happy to say that is not the case here. While I’ve only been here a week, and though we’re going through an adjustment period. I still feel very much at home here. My feelings for Ma’am and Sir have not diminished a bit. Though I’m suprised to find I’m more focused on intimacy. Than I am with sex. I still have the same sexual desires that I did. It’s just important to me to feel connected to them both. Because so much of our sexual dynamic is new to me. In fact my new fear is that this need for actual intimacy. Will be mistaken for a lack of sexual desire on my part. Also since I haven’t been with anyone in a couple of years. I’m not used to not having cock rings on when my clitty’s all hard (that’s actually kinda embarrassing to admit.). As well as being used to watching porn before making cummies (also embarrassing to admit.). Adjustment period aside. I truly feel like I’m home. For the first time in years, and in a foreign place. I feel like I’m home. I believe we have a bright future ahead of us.
I can’t stop thinking about sex.
I’m currently saving to move in with Mommy and Daddy. Mommy’s had me on a one cummie a day limit for months now. With a few times when she’s let me have more (thank you Mommy.). I’ve adjusted to it pretty well. Considering I used to have days where I’d loose count around 13 or so. I do still edge myself if I’ve already had the days cummie.
Chastity has come up in conversations for a while now. I find myself conflicted some. While I really love making cummies, and playing with my clitty. I find myself feeling very excited at the thought of my Mommy and Daddy( if Mommy wants him to.) have the key to my clitty.
As the time that I have to wait to be with them shortens. I find I’m always thinking about sex. Even when it’s not on the forefront of ny mind. It’s still their. I’ll be doing something at work. Focused, and in the moment. All the while visions of Mommy and Daddy fucking me. Run through my mind. Sometimes only Mommy. Sometimes only Daddy. Sometimes Mommy’s fucking Daddy,and I’m tied,gagged,and plugged. Mommy holding the remote to the vibe in me. It goes on all day. Every day. So many different scenarios. I honestly don’t have the patience to list them all now.
Dammit I made myself want to make cummies again. 
Cycles of fixation
Today I noticed something about myself. Once I find something in my exploration that I llike. I fixate on it for a bit. A good example would be my current fascination with string bikini panties. Panties really are at the core of my kinks. Every woman I know. Have only had negative things to say about how they feel about wearing this style. I got myself my first pair. To see how I felt while wearing them. They’re pink with black hearts on them. With little black bows where the front panel meets the string. The back is pink lace. They’re just soo yummy. I found I just love how they feel. So the next chance I got. I bought four more. I have many panties that I love to wear, but this week I seem to have only been wearing my string bikini’s.
I did a similar thing with pantyhose. I first wore pantyhose as a young boy. As I grew up and eventually came back to my kink. I found myself fixated with stockings. That one lasted years. In fact I still love stockings. However recently I tried pantyhose again. First with crotchless. Then later with control top full hose. Once I got used to the added restriction over my clitty. I found I thoroughly enjoy how they feel. I wore hose for about a week and a half. My stockings seem to last longer than my hose though. As far as ripping or runs.
I wonder what my next thing will be?
Pantyversery
So my one year anniversary. Of wearing my panties 24/7. Is coming up in February. It feels so right to me. I actually have to remind myself it hasn’t been that long. For example right now I’m in black shear stockings,a black garterbelt, my black/ leopard print petticoat, and soft pink panties with black polkadots on them. Under my boy drag. This is basically what I sleep in. Though the panties vary
I see a lot of post’s on Fetlife where humiliation seems to be tied into the fetish. I can see how being caught could be humiliating. Or at least embarrassing. However that’s all based on the reactions of whomever catches me. The act of wearing lingerie and panties. Isn’t humiliating to me. Not any more than embracing the feminine aspects of my personality is. For me to say “crossdressing or panty wearing is humiliating”. Is like saying “Being feminine is humiliating”. witch is just untrue in my eyes. Sorry I got side tracked for a minute there.
I’m pondering what I want to do to celebrate my first year in panties. So far I’ve decided this is when I’ll get rid of my boy undies. Since I don’t wear them I keep them on a shelf in my closit. I have three drawers for lingerie in my four drawer dresser. One full of panties. One full with my garterbelts and stockings/pantyhose ect, and one with my cheaper petticoats, and a body shaper. Also some porn shop costumes. This is an amusing thought for me. As most of my coworkers,and all of my close friends. Know I wear panties and stockings daily. My boy undies are now in the closet. Instead of me 
As I get other ideas I’ll add them here. Also I’ll post about the actual event once it happens. If you have any ideas? Please share them.
Things I hope to be good at.
Bulding bondage furniture.
I like working with my hands,and enjoy fixing things. I really like the idea of creating something. That combined with what it’ll be used for. Just makes it very appealing.
Kung-Fu
I used to be pretty good at this. I miss it, and what practicing it did for me. To anyone who just thought “Kung-Fu… That’s not very girly.”. Well you’re just plain wrong. It’s an art, and like any art. Anyone can become great at it. Being able to exhibit Strength,and Grace at the same time.
Finding Joy and Peace in the little things.
This on I just want to be better at. To remember life is short and miraculous. Even if it does hurt sometimes.
Pleasing Mommy.
This one’s vast. For me that can simply be by giving a good hug. At just the right moment. Without being asked or told to. Bringing a smile to her face. Or making her laugh. Of course I also have my hopes for doing this in a sensual. As well as sexual ways too. Overall I want to be a part of her life. Moreover I want make things easier and better for her.
Sucking Daddy’s Cock
I’ve never touched one. Other than my own. So being a good cocksucker may take some practice.
Making money while doing something I enjoy.
Writing… On that note. To anyone who’s actually following my blog. I’m sorry my postings are so scattered. Also I apologize for my lack of regularity with them.
Today’s panties 11/15/2011.
Feeling flooded with feelings. Yet a bit blocked. Sorry if this get’s a tad scattered.
Had a semi-successful day at the job. I just haven’t been able to unwind today untill now.
Today I wore a recently purchased. Lt.Pink,White,and Lt. Grey. leopard print bikini cut. Cotton panty. Yay for new panties! Black garterbelt,and sheer stockings. Under my boy drag for work.
No Cummies till Tue Nov 8th
Ma’am said she wanted to work up to something. She’s been kind enough to allow me one cummie a day. For months now. I haven’t had sex in almost two years now. So going to once a day was an adjustment for me. The last cummie I made was on Friday Nov 4th. I don’t know what she has in mind, but I’m excited. Also I’ve noticed that my want to cum in the morning. Is more torturous knowing I won’t be cumming at all today. I have to think of it in “one day at a time” frame of mind.
